Tag Archives: Brooklyn


Frannys menuMy girl is mostly gluten free. I have to space out my trips to Franny’s accordingly, trying not to bring her to the dark side too often, but I’m a sucker for this stuff. A seat at the bar, some fussy drinks,  a plate or two of well executed appetizers before a nice pizza and a long walk home – gluten attacking Kim from inside as I daydream about ice-cream.

This ain’t your Daddy’s Flatbush pizza shop for sure.

I sometimes order a negroni (Beefeater gin, Campari, Punt e Mes) as part of an overall plan to acquire a taste for it. Man can’t live on Dirty Vodka Martinis alone. Enough chefs swear by the Negroni. I’m somewhere on the fence. It has a medicinal gin finish. I have no idea what I’m talking about.

I sometimes order a negroni as part of an overall plan to acquire a taste for it.”

Kim had the la tempesta (nonino amaro, fernet, mint, lemon, ginger beer). It was toothsome and tasty. We always have great drinks here – and dig eating at the bar, if you can get a seat.

They grill a piece of bread here like nobody’s business. Nicely olive oiled, it’s worth eating by itself. Great with fava beans and a soft boiled egg. Even better with burrata cheese and sea vegetables.

“These vegetables are bright and amazing,” Kim says. “I like it better than the fava beans.”
“That bread plus that yolk is pretty great, though.”
“Same as that bread we had with the beef tongue and pork cheek terrine last time.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t the sexiest looking dish, but it was super tasty.”

Frannys burata

burrata cheese and sea vegetables

Frannys Fava

fava beans and a soft boiled egg

Frannys Pork and Beef Tongue

beef tongue and pork cheek terrine

Frannys breadThe menu is full of engaging and savory appetizers from bruschette, crostini and fried mozzarella to lamb sausage and charcuterie. If you’re lucky they’ll have a cool special. You don’t expect a wonderful bone marrow dish at a pizzeria, but this isn’t just any pizzeria – which you realize once you look at the bill.

“Yeah,” Kim says. “That burrata with sea vegetables was delicious but a little pricey.”
“Pricey & Delicious is a good name for a restaurant.”

Their brick oven pizza is always hot and happy. Let me suggest a nice traditional pie with sausage or meatballs. If you’re feeling adventurous, perhaps the zucchini and squash blossoms with basil, garlic, buffalo mozzarella and anchovies.

Frannys Pizza 3

zucchini and squash blossoms with basil, garlic, buffalo mozzarella and anchovies

Frannys Pizza 2
Franny’s speaks lovingly to humans whose early comfort foods were pizza and ice-cream. They elevate this, bring in other traditional plates, execute them all well, and charge accordingly.

This ain’t your Daddy’s Flatbush pizza shop for sure.

Frannys ice cream


The Tuscan Gun

Debi Mazar and Gabriele Corco - Getty Images
Gabriele Corcos and wife Debi Mazar, of Cooking Channel’s Extra Virgin, recently opened The Tuscan Gun in a sleepy stretch of Windsor Terrace in Brooklyn. It’s dangerously close to my apartment, which explains why I’ve been there four times in three weeks.

Really their signature Porchetta Panini, slow cooked pork served on focaccia with arugula and roasted peppers, keeps me coming back. It’s so easy to eat while walking those sunny tree-lined streets around the neighborhood – a good few blocks from the bustle.

The Tuscan Gun - Photo by MC Krispy E

It’s a tasty and concise menu including some breakfasty stuff like yogurt, scones, and muffins, and for lunch a few pastas, salads and a soup. They’ve also got a serious coffee bar.

They’re not trying to boil the ocean here, just doing a few dishes exceptionally well. I dug the Sugo di Porchetta pasta cooked with pork renderings and an IPA, and served with rosemary, sage, and pecorino. Tell me that ain’t pretty.

The Tuscan Gun - Porchetta Pasta - Photo by MC Krispy EThe Tuscan Gun - Done - Photo by MC Krispy E

The Tuscan Gun - Cold Bew Iced Coffee - Photo by MC Krispy E

If you love iced-coffee, you don’t need me to tell you that most isn’t worth drinking. We know it’s bad, we drink it anyway because deep down inside we don’t think we deserve better. Treat yourself to the real deal once in a while. The Cold Brew Ice-Coffee at The Tuscan Gun is among the best I’ve had in Brooklyn or beyond. Get it as they suggest, with a little cream and sugar. Grab a nice Anise & Coffee Shortbread or an Orange Olive Oil Muffin and life is good.

There’s no set dinner-hours, but they do host events, cooking classes and restaurant pop-ups some evenings.

Another plus in the Brooklyn column. Maybe we do deserve it.

The Tuscan Gun - Coffee Cookie - Photo by MC Krispy E


Talde in Park Slope

When Talde launched in 2012 I was immediately on board. A Top Chef alum opening a spot in my hood? Sounds like a food adventure, sign me up. Especially in Park Slope where, if you throw a rock, you’ll either hit a basic Italian restaurant, a safe American spot, or a couple with two babies and a dog taking up 98% of the sidewalk.

Park Slope has plenty of good food options, but it was aching for a little Filipino infusion, is what I’m trying to say. I’ve eaten at Talde consistently since it opened and its gone from very-good to truly-great in a short time.

It’s a dependable spot for various foodie-types. If you’re a loud hipster that loves digging into small plates with drunken friends by huge windows, this is your place. Or maybe you’re a couple that digs sharing pitchers of, say, Obama’s Punch (rum, vodka, curaçao, vanilla, blood orange) while splitting plates of Crispy Oyster Bacon Pad Thai? Or perhaps you’re a solo foodie that loves drinking white wine and eating Pretzel Pork and Chive Dumplings at a bar overlooking the kitchen. Whatever your ilk, Talde has you covered.




I was here a week ago and marveled at the well-oiled machine it’s become. Packed to capacity (about 65 folks) the kitchen was not only cool and collected, but dishing out perfect flavorful plates that you wish would never end.

This time around, Kim and I started with the Vietnamese Garlic Shrimp. A thing of beauty, for sure. Subtle char on the shrimp, harmonious mix of flavors and texture with pomelo, escarole, and yummy peanuts. It’s a dish that screams summer.


Next up, we shared a huge bowl of Wanton Noodle Soup like you’ve never had before – unless you’ve been to Talde for brunch and had buttered toast Ramen. This ain’t fast food wanton soup, fo shizzle. A deliciously opaque broth permeates soft noodles and pork wantons, bitter greens, pork belly, a delectable six minute egg, and two customers with giant smiles wrapped around their heads.

We finished with Korean Fried Chicken with spicy kimchee yogurt and mint, balanced perfectly with, of all things, grapes. Motherfuckin grapes. Absolute crispy genius.




We we’re too stuffed for dessert, although I can eat their Halo-Halo till the cows come home. Now truth be told, I’m accustomed to over-doing it here, especially for brunch. For me, heaven is a seat by the window with my girl and way too many plates on the table. A pot of french press coffee, Breakfast Ramen, Tator Tots with sriracha ketchup, Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Fried Rice, Roti, and Kung Pao Chicken Wings with Waffles. I can always buy a new belt when this one runs out of holes.

737483_505185982838268_1893979147_oTalde is definitely the best of Dale and company’s mini-empire which (used to) include Pork Slope and Thistle Hill in Brooklyn. I’m looking forward to seeing how his new place in Jersey City carries the torch – and if those folk are hip enough to know a good thing when they put it in their mouths.

In the meantime, Dale has paved the way for other adventurous spots in South Slope like Chris Cheung’s eternally tasty East Wind Snack Shop and a brand new joint called The Tuscan Gun by Cooking Channel’s Gabriele Corcos. It’s a good time to know what’s good.



East Wind Snack Shop

21215eastwind_int2I’ve walked by this locale a thousand times over the years. There was always some new restaurant here that never took, whose arrival I’d await with anticipation yet with menus that ultimately never enticed me. That changed now that East Wind Snack Shop opened a month ago. Chef Chris Cheung (Nobu, Jean-Georges) may have cracked the code of this odd little space right off the F train at Prospect Park West.

Cheung has lived in this hood for 16 years. I bet he walked down those F Train steps thinking “what could I do with that space?” as often as I have. The result is a small family run spot by a local and celebrated chef buzzing like none before it.

The menu (dumplings, buns, ribs, spring rolls, etc.) is tight and approachable – seemingly do-able in a super small kitchen. Were there days early on when they’d run out of dumplings? Yeah, but you would too if your dumplings tasted like these. And they’re on top of it, even extending their hours till 9.

Did we wait a bit when we ordered to go? Yeah, but it’s a new hotspot, and that’s what happens. I’m not rushing to Yelp to complain about it. I even take some of the blame since we really should have just eaten there instead of taking-out. It’s a nice low-fi vibe. Cute stools. They were sweet and apologized for the wait, twice giving us treats, including these Haws that my girl knew instantly. Soft sugary fruit wafers wrapped like Chinese firecrackers.

Haw Flakes - East Wind Snack Shop - Pic by MC Krispy E

There’s plenty of other kitschy treats on hand from chocolate and strawberry Pocky, to Ramune soda, and Foco Tamarind.

We sauntered home with steaming hot dumplings and such in a brown paper bag, our expectations high. Maybe too high, considering there was no guarantee this stuff would even still be hot when we finally dug in. Cut to the chase; everything was hot and delicious. The Pan Fried Juicy Pork Dumplings were delectable. Just the right amount of salty, not overly doughy and not stingy with the pork, cooked perfectly with a shiny happy sear. The dictionary definition of what I want when I want one. And I want more than one.

Dumplings - East Wind Snack Shop - Pic by MC Krispy E Dumplings - East Wind Snack Shop - Pic by MC Krispy E

We also had the the Sweet Chili Ribs with Pickles and Jasmine Rice. They were a thing of simple beauty, even fresh out of the plastic take-out carton. Perfectly tender and glazed. I did a little dance inside when my girl let me eat the last one.

Oh, East Wind, we needed you in these parts. I look forward to a getting my hands on your buns and hotcakes.

Sweet Chilli Ribs - East Wind Snack Shop - Pic by MC Krispy E

Foie Gras Bao Bun - East Wind Snack Shop - Pic by MC Krispy E

East Wind Snack Shop Menu on 3/14/15 - Pic by MC Krispy E

Update: I’ve eaten here many times at this point. Everything on the menu  is worth trying, including the Buddhist Delight vegetarian dish. Long live East Wind Snack Shop!


Morgan’s Brooklyn Barbecue

Blackout Doughnut - Doughnut Plant BK - Photo by MC Krispy EI trek to Prospect Heights to buy sneakers for the gym I may never join. On the way, I pick up the Blackout from Doughnut Plant, which is their chocolate glazed cake-doughnut with chocolate pudding inside and cake crumbs on top. I dug their Grand Street shop and look forward to getting familiar with this one. Off to a good start – nom nom nom.

Alright, I’m fueled and ready for the DSW. Kim and I peruse the aisles for sneakers that don’t look covered in alien ectoplasm. I don’t know who’s buying all these fluorescent green and yellow kicks, but stop it. I finally find an unassuming pair of black Nike’s and we bounce. I bought sneakers so now I have to join the gym, right? This week, definitely.

There’s a few open spots at Morgan’s Brooklyn Barbecue. We belly-up to the bar, as we like to do, and soon we’re surrounded by ginger ale, draught beer, and the Frito Pie.

Oh, this is the place on that show,” I realize out loud.
Ah’doyyy,” Kim advises.

The Frito Pie, served in an open faced wrapper, is a chili, cheese, onion, sour cream, and crunchy Fritos dish that Kim and I devoured like God had a gun to our heads. Perfect bar food.

If a’sida beef is your thing, their brisket is especially tender, sufficiently fatty, and has a nice char. Especially good with the Corn in a Cup. The corn is honest and tasty, nicely cooked with a little cotijo cheese and salsa verde. Even had a slight kick, as everything kinda does around here. That annoying friend of yours that thinks everything is spicy may not dig this place, but you shouldn’t hang with him anyway. It’s better for you both.

Beef Brisket - Morgan's Brooklyn Barbecue - Photo by MC Krispy E

Corn in a Cup - Morgan's Brooklyn Barbecue - Photo by MC Krispy E

I hate when people say this and I’m about to myself: The ribs really did fall right off the bone. I think there’s something about that phrase that makes me think of biology, which I try avoid while eating. Denial is delicious, I know. Be that as it may, the ribs were super-tender and, once again, excellent bar food. There’s lots of other options on the main menu we’ve yet to try from chicken, fish, and sausages, to turkey tails.

While most of Brooklyn’s bustling BBQ scene has some mac-n-cheese on the menu (Fletcher’s, Dinosaur, etc.), Morgan’s Elbow Room menu is devoted to various mac-n-cheeses from Old School with cheddar and garlic breadcrumbs to Jamaican Jerk with chicken, grilled pineapple, and toasted coconut.

My suggestion is to check out Morgan’s with a bunch of your less inhibited friends that know how to drink, aren’t afraid to speak to each other, and respect the simple treasures of barbecue. And join a gym, if you haven’t already. Or at least buy some sneakers.

Ribs, Frito Pie, Beef Brisket, Corn in a Cup - Morgan's Brooklyn Barbecue - Photo by MC Krispy E


Park Slope Bites

I gotta get some exercise. At least walk more. So I’m out and about, but if I know me, there’s a meal at the finish line.

Meandering through the sublime decay of Sunset Park, through the long-leashed toddlers of South Slope, to Park Slope proper – the food options get interesting all at once near Washington Park.

Some of these places I’ve yet to try, like Stone Park Cafe. Glad to have it as option, and it’s certainly on my list, but not today. Besides, it’s always packed.

If I was in the mood for a nice cheeseburger, I could go to Bonnie’s Grill, but I was just there the other night. Next door there’s Calexico where I had that sweet Elote about a month ago; grilled sweet corn, cotija cheese, chile powder, sour cream, cilantro, and lime. I could go for a carne asada burrito, but that may cancel out the benefits of today’s walk.



Maybe a slice at Two-Boots? I know their fans were upset when the previous Park Slope shop closed. Although, I wasn’t in love with them back in the day – something about cornmeal on the bottom of the slice. I guess it’s a Cajun thing. But my taste-buds have matured since then. I want to give it another go, not today, but soon.

bonemHow about the bone marrow at Blue Ribbon? Full disclosure; it’s in my top 5 plates of food on God’s green acre. With salty crispy fried parsley and oxtail marmalade. Spread it on brioche – a little sea salt – every bite takes 7 minutes off your life expectancy but you die with a smile in your pants.

Come to think of it. I could go for some greasy goodness at Pork Slope. It’s still kinda early, I can pinch a seat at the bar. Maybe drink too much and order a pulled pork sandwich or BBQ brisket Ruben with tater tots. Don’t listen to your doctors, those guys see you as a paycheck. Of course they want you to live forever.

Nah, I know what I want after a nice long walk on a brisk day; a steaming bowl of Naruto Ramen. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a seat at the bar on those tiny stools where you can watch line cooks keep up with the locals. Whatever you do, start with the pork buns. Unsophisticated and delectable is one of my favorite combinations. Tender pork with mayo, lettuce and tomato in a steamed bun.  Do I have to shoot everyone in this place? You can’t bring it to me fast enough. My girl would prefer the pork be a little more crispy. I get that, but whatevs. Me eat now again, please?

10306623_827131713977025_6288662845467638027_nAs far as ramen goes, depending on the night,  you may get an amazing bowl of broth or something with a little less depth. I guess there are a lot of factors. Tonight, I went with a nice miso ramen with pork belly. Last time it was Tan Tan ramen with a sesame broth and ground pork. That was yummers.

On the walk back I pass Chip Shop who lost their lease. Had a few good meals there. Might check out their other location The Atlantic Chip Shop in Brooklyn Heights.

But that’s on another walk.






Traif‘s been a favorite of mine since it opened in 2010. Actually, I pretend I’m an early adopter, but I didn’t step foot inside until 2011. This much is true; I know I can rely on Traif for thoughtful cocktails and consistent forkfuls of what the hell was that!?! All the family and friends I’ve dragged here have stumbled out satisfactorily Traifed, I assure you.

That’s what we call it,” Kim says, “even if we eat something delicious somewhere else.”
“Like, we got Traifed by the polenta at Home Plate in San Francisco.”
Or when we got Traifed at Pig & Khao by that crispy sweet pork belly.”

Small plates and amazing drinks are one of my favorite combinations, and Traif always brings me to that happy place. This New Years, Kim and I are at the counter again, like last year, two food nerds who can’t wait to be entertained by expedition and execution.

I admit part of me wondered what might be happening a few doors down at sister spot Xixa. They also had a tasting menu tonight – and apparently Jason Marcus‘ attention during my seating at Traif. Can’t these two open a place in Park Slope already?

quotetraif1I’ve had nights at Traif where literally every plate made you gasp. Heat and flavor and texture and execution all lined up perfectly. Ending the whole shabang with bacon doughnuts and coffee ice-cream or their sumptuous chocolate pot de cremes.

This New Years experience was a little different. For one thing (not to complain) we were seated forty minutes after arriving on time. They were seemingly in recovery mode when we got there – mentioning the kitchen had fallen behind. Someone suggested that mixing Traif classics with new experiments messed with their timing. Who knows. It’s likely some reservations started and ran late which totally throws off the plan. Guests are reminded about start and end times on the phone, in email, in a phone call the day before, and in person. That’s how they manage the night. At some point it becomes herding cats because, in all fairness, why would anybody want to leave this place?

Regardless, I started having fun the moment I got there and especially while summoning a steady stream of Rude Little Pigs to do my bidding. Lapsang-infused tequila, Cointreau orange liqueur, pomegranate, bacon rim. Sounds like a novelty. It ain’t.  

A shot-glass of creamy Vidalia onion soup to start was delectable, followed by strawberry-cinnamon ribs which seemed early considering Traif’s usual light-to-heavy pacing.  Don’t get me wrong, I can eat those ribs until I flat-line. The blue cheese and persimmons in the salad that followed were tasty, just off schedule.

traif salad 800 traif ribs 800

One thing my Italian family has never been able to instill in me is a love of mussels. Not my thing.  But I was Traifed for sure, soaking up mussels and that buttery sauce with thick cuts of brioche. So unlike me. I wonder if I’ll like that anywhere else.

Now it’s midnight, my girl and I are a little buzzed when suddenly air horns and loud pops send confetti twinkling beautifully into the air and ultimately into all of our drinks. Mmmm, now we’re having some beef sliders. The peekytoe crab on top might be superfluous, but those sweet potato fries and smoked paprika aioli are a killer combo as usual.

So many different plates are coming out of this tiny kitchen. From our vantage point we saw a lot of unfamiliar dishes we were dying to try.

That’s bone marrow,” I say to Kim, with the enthusiasm of someone that just saw Elvis at the deli.
Just take it from that guy,” she suggests. “He doesn’t deserve it.
The one over-emoting to Always Something There to Remind Me?” I ask, sipping around the confetti in my Rude Little Pig.
His eyes are closed and everything,” the Chef interjects. “He’s really feelin’ it.”

Whereas my eyes are peeled for the baked muenster, smoked chorizo, apples, and crostini dish I love so much. Alas, no dice. Oh, but very happy to see you again, foie with egg, maple, potatoes and hot sauce – come sit on my lap.

traif mussells 800

traif slider 800


While the flavors were good, the pork belly suffered from lack of competing textures. And is that the same crab that topped the sliders? Not a particularly contrasting lead-in for the more purposefully soft final savory course of short ribs on polenta. Tasty, and one of the bigger small-plates for sure. Might be a bit heavy for some, but those people don’t know.

traif short 800
traif pork 800

traif zep 800

In the past, I’ve had desserts at Traif that blew my mind. Sometimes I fantasize about coming here alone just to have secret dessert. Our meal tonight ends simply with some zeppoles and poppy-seed vanilla ice-cream. Good, sure, but not a closer – especially once you’ve experienced the other tricks up their sleeve.

Traif remains one of the best things you can do with your clothes on. I know I’m not special for feeling that way, it’s the most Yelped restaurant in Brooklyn these days.

If pork and shellfish make it through your dietary force-field, make a reservation and get there on time.



IMG_0364You shouldn’t have to work on your birthday. It’s the one holiday you carry around with you organically.  I stopped acknowledging most other holidays years ago, but I’m always down to celebrate my birth with a meal.

But alas, I did work on my birthday, and now I’m rushing to the train, through an idiot’s obstacle course, into and out of the subway, fast-walking the Brooklyn blocks, carrying the stress of the work day into an early reservation at Battersby.

My girl is springing for the tasting menu, so life is good, but we have zero chance of decompressing by this unfortunate time-slot. Even after a few tasty cocktails.

“Is it me or are there three other chites in this vicinity?”
“They’re everywhere. It’s embarrassing.”
“We’re a dime a dozen,” I say.
“Actually, no. One is a chi-chi.”
“I know.”

Enter the sunchoke amuse-bouche, in a small shot glass, brief and delicious, with hints of hazelnut, followed by crispy kale salad with peanuts and brussels sprouts. That crispy kale was on my mind for weeks after this meal.IMG_0354

“This fluke dish,” I say, “is so good, but it’s gonna be hard for me to remember what was so good about it.”
“I think it’s so clean tasting.”
“Yeah, but is that really a thing?”

IMG_0356IMG_0358I dug the homemade pasta with sea urchin more than my girl, which is surprising considering she loves sea urchin and I don’t even like saying it.

I think I remember an asparagus course, cooked two ways, maybe, some beautiful beets? I don’t know, I’m forgetting. I can’t even tell what’s in these pictures. It was four weeks ago. A lot of water under the bridge.  I should write these reviews earlier. I’m so bad at this.


I do remember wishing for the pressed foie sweetbread terrine I’d seen on the menu. Not that there was anything wrong with the chicken and cauliflower dish, It just didn’t seem like a closer. Still, put it in front of me right now and it’s gone in sixty seconds.

IMG_0371And honestly, what is this egg looking thing on the left? I gotta start writing shit down. It was ice-cream, yes? I probably liked it. I remember loving all the desserts. Let me ask the girlfriend. She doesn’t remember either. Good food is wasted on us.

I do remember a nice mix of flavors and textures from the ice-cream to bite-size Madeleines (soft and amazing).  A host of other little cremes, cookies and pastries, and even biscotti for the road.IMG_0382

I shall return, Battersby, and I’ll be making my own choices. On a weekend. In a better mood. And with a pen.

Also, next year I’m taking off on my birthday.


Do or Dine

“And I do it like Bed-Stuy, do or die.”
– Biggie

Do or Dine’s been calling my name for a while now. I don’t know what kept me from it – maybe some bad things I heard about the neighborhood. But I should have known better and now I expect Do or Dine and I will be going steady. Especially since she totally puts out on the first date.

Do or DineIt’s important to note that looks can be deceiving. For example, don’t believe your eyes; this isn’t a West Indian spot. Do or Dine retained the previous tenant’s awning and facade. I agree; that’s awesome. From the outside you’d never expect to be greeted by cultured ambiance, well-curated old-school hip-hop and a disco ball you’ll appreciate more as the night progresses.

Speaking of which, that drink your drinking is also pretty deceiving, but they don’t call it Cinnamon Toast Krunk by accident. If you like your drinks to taste like breakfast cereal, you will be rewarded. I go for the George & Ginger, a combo of Dickel whiskey and ginger beer. Looks safe enough from the outside, but if remembering things is important to you, don’t drink four of these on the same day you didn’t eat lunch.

“Do I have legs?”  I ask my girlfriend at the end of the meal.

My girl also dug the Spherickle Back (tequila followed by a gelatinous pickle-flavored chaser).  And she was most adorable ordering the Bonita Applebum (applejack, cinnamon/serrano, lemon), totally oblivious to the song-origin of it’s namesake.

“Can I kick it?” I quote to her.

FOIE GRAS DOUGHNUTLooks are also deceiving when it comes to this doughnut; filled not just with jelly but foie gras. The mere notion puts a bone in my pocket. Available as an appetizer or dessert, let me suggest you order it for dessert, and once the novelty subsides, skip it on your next visit to order more small plates.

E666SLike, say, the Deviled E666S with cilantro and bacon. Tempura, no less, with a small but essential dot of sriracha on top.

Is it any surprise the Steak Tartare is served in the shape of a cow grazing on a bed of greens? Yeah, kinda. With some yummy espresso aioli and a tiny raw egg you scramble into the goodness. What’s so deceiving about the Nippon Nachos is that they aren’t really nachos at all. More like the very legitimate love-child of nachos and dumplings. Probably best post-maryjane.

“You’ve got quail,” Justin Warner says, presenting the preciously plated fowl to the table. My girl rolls her eyes, but agrees the truffle-poached quail is delicious – even if the polenta and “mush consommé” are no equals.


As far as big-plates go, A Chicken and Woffals (their spelling) is a sophisticated blend of jerk, maple, pineapple and offal. Is that chicken liver atop the Cornish hen? And also in the waffle batter, you say? Have her bathed and brought to my room.

PORK & BEANS That Pork & Beans dish is deceptive, too. I mean, it don’t look like no pork and beans. Looks more like pork, kimchi and mustard greens had a fight on your plate. Lucky for you, the make-up sex happens in your mouth. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Apart from the foie doughnut, there is only one other choice for dessert; the decidedly deception-less Snickers ice-cream bar. It’s literally store bought, drawn and quartered with the wrapper still on. Maybe all this deception has more to do with reinforcing the low-rent aesthetic of an otherwise deluxe apartment in the sky.

(My girlfriend won’t get that reference either.)

Update: Unfortunately, Do or Dine has closed.